Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize