Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
