THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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