lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
