perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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