i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize