I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize