I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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