thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
