Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
