on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
