worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
