he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
