its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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