You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The air taste purple.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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