It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i've created a new STD.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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