respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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