Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
