We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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