Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
