I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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