Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
