I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
