he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
