to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
