WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
