Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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