I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
