I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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