I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
