I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
