gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Less talking, more tequila
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
