giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
