nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
