can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize