You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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