I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
