My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
