hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.