Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed

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  (856): the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed http://tfl.nu/39rg
  Replies (42) Good night (11581) Bad night (1667)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.

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  (641): is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink. http://tfl.nu/upl9
  Replies (29) Good night (4892) Bad night (1624)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....

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  (609): just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public.... http://tfl.nu/rq3r
  Replies (24) Good night (7728) Bad night (2116)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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  (205): btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever http://tfl.nu/nic9
  Replies (11) Good night (2496) Bad night (1826)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?

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  (780): This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it? http://tfl.nu/t3fk
  Replies (9) Good night (2247) Bad night (744)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.

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  (608): He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/dgwh
  Replies (6) Good night (1993) Bad night (530)
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  (626): View more from California

  I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for

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  (626): I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for http://tfl.nu/u8ph
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (618)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home

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  (262): I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home http://tfl.nu/e4lh
  Replies (4) Good night (922) Bad night (642)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (605)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.

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  (425): ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense. http://tfl.nu/ojne
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (680)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow

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  (918): I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow http://tfl.nu/sxt6
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (416)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far

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  (931): Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far http://tfl.nu/db1u
  Replies (8) Good night (340) Bad night (673)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.

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  (775): I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it. http://tfl.nu/9xto
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (328)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'

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  (973): She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.' http://tfl.nu/tqso
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (223)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels

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  (978): I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels http://tfl.nu/xkfj
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (196)

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