Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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