not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I enjoy the company of your penis
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
