I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
