it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
