Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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