You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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