I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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