Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)