You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.