now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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