I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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