I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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