Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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