Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Enjoy the penises
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
