Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
