I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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