chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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