If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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