I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
