Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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