he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
