Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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