Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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