it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
