I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She needs sedatives and a leash
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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